Alan and I do some marketing

The mission: to come up with an honest marketing slogan for Torchwood.

The winners:

General

Torchwood: At least it's not Bonekickers.

Torchwood: Better than rabies.

Torchwood: Better than a repeat of Ready, Steady, Cook.

Torchwood: Makes Tittybangbang look sophisticated.

Torchwood: It has a bigger audience share than a load of other minority-channel programmes.

Torchwood: Help pay John Barrowman's dog's vet bills.

Torchwood: Because Russell T. Davies can never have enough royalty money.

Torchwood: A few people in America said they liked it.

Season II

Torchwood Season II: Takes out a pickaxe and keeps on digging.

Torchwood Season II: Keeping the careers of ageing cult stars going since 2006.

Season III

Torchwood Season III: Half the length of original Torchwood!

Torchwood Season III: We've cut the story length, got rid of Chibnall, killed off the single most annoying character and got it all out in a single week; surely it can't suck this time?

Torchwood Season III: Now with 100% less Freema!


Contributions can be sent to the e-mail address on the sidebar.

Am I mad, in the Atlantic, or back in time?

"Lost in Austen", about a modern female Jane Austen fan who goes through a magic portal into the middle of Pride and Prejudice, is currently being touted as a costume-drama twist on "Life on Mars". Since that series then spawned a sequel featuring a protagonist of the opposite gender and a later setting, can we look forward next year to "Lost in Melville," where a modern computer technician with a Victorian adventure-novel fetish finds himself suddenly on board the Pequod, searching for Moby-Dick?