The mission: to come up with an honest marketing slogan for Torchwood.
Torchwood: At least it's not Bonekickers.
Torchwood: Better than rabies.
Torchwood: Better than a repeat of Ready, Steady, Cook.
Torchwood: Makes Tittybangbang look sophisticated.
Torchwood: It has a bigger audience share than a load of other minority-channel programmes.
Torchwood: Help pay John Barrowman's dog's vet bills.
Torchwood: Because Russell T. Davies can never have enough royalty money.
Torchwood: A few people in America said they liked it.
Torchwood Season II: Takes out a pickaxe and keeps on digging.
Torchwood Season II: Keeping the careers of ageing cult stars going since 2006.
Torchwood Season III: Half the length of original Torchwood!
Torchwood Season III: We've cut the story length, got rid of Chibnall, killed off the single most annoying character and got it all out in a single week; surely it can't suck this time?
Torchwood Season III: Now with 100% less Freema!
Contributions can be sent to the e-mail address on the sidebar.